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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some employers of their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more active at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, give your opinion.

#employers #employees #membership #gyms #sports #clubs #staff #work #benefit #arguments #aspects #debate
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While some employers believe that subsidized benefits make staff healthier and more productive at
work
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, others assume that it has no benefit.
This
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 essay will discuss both arguments in-depth with relevant examples but I personally believe that various other motivations and rewards, in combination with
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 healthy pursuits, will bring effective results. On the one hand, several organisations seeking
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a way
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to enhance the productivity of their
employees
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 by subsidising healthy pursuits because if workers are more fitter and less stressed, it will increase the volume of output and services.
Therefore
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, significant numbers of employers provide extra benefits to their
employees
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such
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 as gym membership
fee
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fees
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, sports club facilities because it will improve their
work
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-life balance and by full-filling their leisure time, it will help to keep them motivated.
For instance
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, discounts on corporate cards are of its examples.
Thus
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, organisations consider it a more fulfilling reward than providing perks, and extra financial rewards. On the other side, many firms believe that these benefits will have no impact on the enhancement of the productivity of the output as their efficacy is virtually impossible to quantify. To exemplify, in target based job, individuals performance are measured by the targets they had achieved against the desired number.
Furthermore
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, on-job training, day release programmes are some ways to improve the performance of
employees
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, which will enhance the output. To conclude
, .
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,
.
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While I believe that gyms or sports clubs membership offered by the office is one of many effective motivations for some
employees
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 to
work
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 efficiently at
work
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. But for many others, monetary rewards are more useful.
Therefore
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, employers should provide a range of motivators that will promote productivity at
work
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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