Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. -How far do you agree? -What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

The earning of film actors or

company

Use synonyms

bosses may seem much greater because they take a greater risk in securing their job, at the same time, certain workers

such

Linking Words

as nurses, doctors, and teachers should be paid more as their role is necessary for the society. They should be valued for their

work

Use synonyms

based on the

work

Use synonyms

they do.

Firstly

Linking Words

, service industries like nurses, doctors and teachers do more than we could imagine.

Physician

Fix the agreement mistake

Physicians

show examples

and medical care staff

work

Use synonyms

very hard to contribute to the community.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they spend more time studying than any other

careers

Fix the agreement mistake

career

show examples

in order to do these jobs and their

work

Use synonyms

schedules are unstable too. Their earnings are less than they should be. One example is the teachers. They not only give knowledge to their students but

also

Linking Words

spend time watching and guiding students' moral

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and maintaining their safety at schools.

This

Linking Words

is an invaluable task because it leads to creating people of value in the future.

Hence

Linking Words

, they should be paid more in the form of specific professional fees. The

increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

payment can be a testament to the occupational values that are indispensable in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, whether now or in the future.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it's normal for film actors to earn a high wage for the

work

Use synonyms

they do because the period of their career is very short. But their

work

Use synonyms

has a great influence on the public when they perform or appear

Change preposition

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

. Their fans will go and buy the things they advertised. These things can lead to the growth of companies that hire them for the advertisement.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it is typical for them to maintain a lot of

money

Use synonyms

from

this

Linking Words

career.

Conversely

Linking Words

, if they aren’t working hard, the

money

Use synonyms

they earn will decrease because of the wage they earn based on the length of films or the number of drama episodes. The same applies to

company

Use synonyms

bosses. It's common that the bosses of any

company

Use synonyms

earn a huge sum of

money

Use synonyms

because they are the ones who decide on the strategies and possibilities of the

company

Use synonyms

. If they make the right decision, it would benefit their

company

Use synonyms

and awards should be given to

them

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

who implement the direction of the

company

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if they make a wrong decision, it will

also

Linking Words

have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

effect on their

company

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, they should be paid for the performance they actually do, not because of the name of their job. In conclusion, fundamental industries should be paid more because their

work

Use synonyms

is very important for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and can’t be without these professions. Film actors and leaders of any corporation are typical to earn a huge sum of

money

Use synonyms

from their tasks because of various factors in their career.

kimkim2548

Oct 28, 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

457 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In this modern world, the use of technology is on the rise. There is a general claim that modern technology helps reduce the distance between public members. It is agreed that the advantage of science in computers and smartphones has brought many good impacts for humans in general. Analyzing the telecommunication infrastructure as well as the growth in the number of modern applications on smartphones nowadays will prove this.
7.5
band
Some people believe that adventurous travel experiences can significantly enhance personal growth and development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.
There is an ongoing debate surrounding the impact of adventurous travel on personal growth and development. While Some people argue that these experiences may cause damage, I completely agree that they can enhance physical and mental capabilities. The reasons for this are as follows.
7.5
band
In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?
Nowadays, most nations have problems with land around the city because they are looking for a place to build apartments. Some say that we do not need to build apartments in the countryside to protect nature. Personally, I do not agree with this idea, and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
8
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There are some statements insisting that high school students should have a compulsory duty to get involved in unpaid community service. As a result, I definitely agree that it should be taken as a part of high school programs.
7
band
These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
The growth of technology in this modern era brings us to a time where gadgets and the use of the internet are impactful to our social life. While others have strong opinions that these inventions are harmful to the daily basis of human communication, I stand with the points that depict larger views of the benefits of phones and the internet.

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that adventurous travel experiences can significantly enhance personal growth and development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?