In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In
this
contemporary epoch, the behaviours of young adults have changed with the advancement of technology. They like to spend more
time
with their friends rather than the family because of their changing personal preferences.
While
some
people
think that parents should impose some rules for their
children
to spend more
time
with their family, I do not believe
this
is the right way to make them stay at home, and
this
essay will depict the explanations to describe my opinion and the probable reasons behind
this
change. First of all, the leading contributing factor behind
this
trend is that the internet has evolved immensely, which is easily accessible
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
every level.
Moreover
, Youngsters spend most of their
time
surfing the internet
whereas
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they can find friends with similar interests in social media.
Such
as WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter and many other apps, which make addiction to the young generation.
For example
, recent data from American
youth corner
Correct your spelling
Youth Corner
show examples
magazine demonstrate that a significant amount of young adults have an addiction to
this
kind of social media app, and
therefore
they have chosen to
pass
Verb problem
spend
show examples
their
time
with their social media friends
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
their family members.
On the other hand
, in my perspective, parents should not force their
children
to stay home.
Nevertheless
, they can manage some
time
from their hectic busy schedule to make a strong
bonding
Replace the word
bond
show examples
with their
children
, which could help make sense of responsibility among young
people
.
For instance
,
according to
data
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
Indian social organisations, young
people
comparatively are less involved in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime, with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good family bonding,
while
in most cases, the criminals are from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
broken or rigorous
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Hence
, every parent should be friendly with their
children
instead
of making a strict environment for the next generation. In conclusion, several reasons lie behind the change in young
people
's behaviour.
However
, parents should not force them to do anything, and they can control their
children
by giving them some quality
time
and creating a sense of the value of family in life.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Connect your ideas more coherently to improve the overall flow of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!