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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts present the variety of spoken
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 among British
students
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 at one university in London in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of British
students
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 who were able to speak another
language
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 went up in 2010.
In addition
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, the Spanish remained most
commonly
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common
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language
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 in 2000 and 2010. In 2000, it is obvious that Spanish was the most common
language
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between
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among
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 British pupils, at 30
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percent
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per cent
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.
Then
Linking Words
 the percentage of
students
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 who were not able to speak another
language
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 was 20
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percent
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per cent
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the share of learners that speak German only or two other
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language
Change to a plural noun
languages
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 was precise commensurate at 10
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percent
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per cent
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, at 15%, the number of
students
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 who have another
language
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 or French was equivalent. In 2010, the proportions of Spanish, another
language
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 and Two other
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language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 slightly increased
5
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by 5
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for each one separately, at 35%,20% and 15% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the pupils who weren’t able to speak any other
language
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 had
been
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apply
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significantly doubled and turn
into
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to
show examples
 10
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. At the same percentage fell the
students
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 who speak French and German.
Submitted by marowan.selim on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words language, students, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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