Many high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.

There are still more men filling high-level

positions

Use synonyms

even though the workforce in many

first

Linking Words

world countries has more than 50%

women

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. With the world now expecting more opportunities for

women

Use synonyms

companies are being forced to give a certain amount of these

positions

Use synonyms

women

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

is that considered favouritism?

This

Linking Words

essay will

further

Linking Words

discuss

this

Linking Words

. From a statistical point of ,view it sure is considered unfair for

women

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, with more than 50% of the workload being done by

women

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but many high-level

positions

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are given to men

instead

Linking Words

. Equality is something important in

this

Linking Words

new age, with a lot of people ,particularly

women

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requesting to be treated fairly in the working industry. By allocating a certain amount of these

positions

Use synonyms

to be filled by

women

Use synonyms

it could only be fair as they are the ones taking up more of the workforce.

However

Linking Words

that is

Linking Words

the information that can only be seen statistically and not what is happening in the real world. It is harder for

women

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to be in a higher position regarding work because most of them are

also

Linking Words

building a family,

women

Use synonyms

tend to focus more on their personal life by spending time with their kids or even in the middle of pregnancy can heavily affect their jobs. On the other ,hand men are more likely to spend more time focusing on work rather than on their families so that they can have a high income for their family. So rather than giving the high position jobs to some

women

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that cannot or will not give their 100% companies rather trust someone who can. In conclusion, it can look unfair statistically that

women

Use synonyms

are not being given higher

positions

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jobs.

However

Linking Words

, it cannot be assumed just by graphs but

also

Linking Words

by the working effort being given. Sure there are some

women

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that focus more on their careers but

that is

Linking Words

a rarity, so I do not agree that a percentage should be allocated to

women

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but rather given to those who are hard-working.

th3okong

May 31, 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computer, the internet and smartphone, more and more people are to starting to work from home. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this development.

In many countries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspapers. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem?