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Band 4.5

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males and females from certain jobs because of their gender?

#women #men #strengths #weaknesses #right #males #females #jobs #gender
Recruitment based on the abilities of the employee is
acceptable
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an acceptable
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 tool among companies ,
however
 , there is a misunderstanding in
this
 issue that
have
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has
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 assumed the gender type is the valuable factor
to
Change preposition
in
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 dividing certain careers which one is suitable for males or females ,so ,I will discuss
about
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apply
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the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
this
 viewpoint and give my opinion.
First
 of all, it is well known that the great chefs are
men
 ,but, many nations believe cooking is the responsibility of women ,
this
 opinion will remove males from
this
 job ,while ,the
strenghts
Correct your spelling
strengths
strength
 which are needed for making
a delicious meals
Correct the article-noun agreement
delicious meals
a delicious meal
show examples
 are creativity , high power in a sense of smell and taste ,at a result ,
exclusing
Correct your spelling
excluding
men
 from cooking is not a correct decision.
Second
, some countries have expressed the manager position must be more
Correct your spelling
suitable
sutable
Correct your spelling
suitable
 for
men
 than women ,because the policymakers think
men
 have more authority and merit for
this
 position that
this
 view is common among patriarchial societies,while,reportedly some nations have been conducted
scientific
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a scientific
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 study that female managers have shown more sympathy with their staff and better role model for encouraging their employees,at a result,
these
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this instituition
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instituition
Correct your spelling
institutions
 that have females on
head
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the head
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 of
departement
Correct your spelling
department
hav
Correct your spelling
have
 more successful than others,
however
 ,in the past ,
musclanity
Correct your spelling
muscularity
masculinity
 is a power to doing many jobs but nowadays the most percentage of jobs are independent to physical
strenghts
Correct your spelling
strength
strengths
 . To sum up, dividing
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 with
wedge
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a wedge
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 of
sexality
Correct your spelling
sexuality
 will remove persons who can play
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 useful role in their community ,governments must enact rules to set equality on job
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 for both genders.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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