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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #proportions #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart depicts the changing percentages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
native
students
Use synonyms
 in the U.K. who have the ability to communicate in another
language
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 10 years between 2000 and 2010. In 2000, British
students
Use synonyms
 decided to learn for communicating in a
second
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
 around 80% of
students
Use synonyms
 and the other 20% are choosing to learn only their native
language
Use synonyms
. most of them chose to learn Spanish
nearly
Change preposition
in nearly
show examples
Linking Words
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, French and other
languages
Use synonyms
 are less than a
third
Linking Words
 each. The
last
Linking Words
 choice for learning is German and two other
languages
Use synonyms
 around one in ten each. In 2001, British
students
Use synonyms
 choose to learn another
language
Use synonyms
 for communicating in
Correct article usage
a
show examples
second
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
 around 90% and the other 10% speak only their native
language
Use synonyms
. Around 35%, most of the
students
Use synonyms
 decided to learn Spanish.
Secondly
Linking Words
, around 20% chose to learn another
language
Use synonyms
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, around 15% are learning to speak two other
languages
Use synonyms
. The least
languages
Use synonyms
 the
students
Use synonyms
 are learning to speak are French and German.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in 10 years, the number of English
students
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decided to learn another
language
Use synonyms
 for communication rose gradually to around 10% from 2000. Most
languages
Use synonyms
 British
students
Use synonyms
 choose to learn as a
second
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
 are Spanish and the least
language
Use synonyms
decides
Correct subject-verb agreement
decide
show examples
 to learn is German.
Submitted by p.rassarin on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, second, secondly, third".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language, languages with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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