IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the Republic of Freedonia. Write a report for a university teacher describing the information shown.

#numbers #workers #employment #sectors #republic #freedonia #report #university #teacher #information
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The diagrams give us
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 understanding of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 labour market's picture in different employment sectors of
Republic
Correct article usage
the Republic
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 of Freedonia.
First
Linking Words
 of all, we can estimate the main trend
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 1975. The ratio of male workers was higher
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 female for each of the industries. The only industry in which
women
Use synonyms
 were at least equal to men was communications.
Next
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, in 1995 the situation changed in a significant way. For the majority of
industries
Add a comma
,industries
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 there was a huge
Correct your spelling
increase
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
 of
women
Use synonyms
 hired.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to 1975, in
communication
Correct article usage
the communication
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 and retail sphere
women
Use synonyms
 had achieved
the
Correct article usage
apply
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leadership above men.
In addition
Linking Words
, well noticeable, that in public
Correct your spelling
defensive
defencive
Correct your spelling
defence
women
Use synonyms
 made a great step and the gap
Correct your spelling
decreased
descreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
.
However
Linking Words
,
also
Linking Words
 there were sectors without any special changes: manufacturing and public non-
deffencive
Correct your spelling
defensive
defence
 sector.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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