IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently went shopping at a department store and you were disrespected by one of the employees . Write a complaint letter to the sales manager of the department store. In your letter you should Let him know about the rude behaviour of the clerk Clearly state how it happened And tell the manager about the bad behavioir

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Dear sir or madam I am Lobar Shukhratovna who ordinary I purchase all things from your department store . It means that I am
client
Add an article
a client
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 of your shopping mall . I am writing
you
Change preposition
to you
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 in order to complain
your
Change preposition
about your
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 staff . Several days ago around
at
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apply
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5 o'clock I visited shopping at your all . So
i
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I
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 started to introduce with prices of winter clothes because of
Correct article usage
the
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chilly weather .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I was disrespected by your clerks. Even they told me that
you
Correct pronoun usage
I
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 could not obtain it because
you had
Verb problem
I
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 looked like
poor
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a poor
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 person .
Then
Linking Words
 I found that I was encountered
discouresty
Correct your spelling
discourtesy
by your shopping assistants .
As well as
Linking Words
 I
an
Correct your spelling
am
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 going to clarify that abominable state . It means that
although
Linking Words
 a few sellers of your General store are unmannerly ,I am sure that others are polite people .
Definitely
Add a comma
Definitely,
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 I have been upset by your impolite
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 wish that
head
Correct article usage
the head
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 of
department
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the department
a department
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 punished them .
Such
Linking Words
 as in my opinion they should reprimanded by you Thank you for your attention Yours faithfully Lobar

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coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that your paragraphs clearly separate different ideas, such as describing the incident and expressing your feelings about it.
task achievement
Make sure your letter follows a more formal structure, maintaining a respectful tone throughout.
task achievement
Consider using more specific details about the incident to strengthen your complaint.
task achievement
You have clearly expressed your feelings about the situation and your desire for action.
coherence and cohesion
The use of a formal closing was appropriate for a complaint letter.
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