IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting & reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting & reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #summarise #information #features #comparison
In 2010, daily
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activity
performed
Add a missing verb
was performed
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of Australian men and
women
 who belongs
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 various
age
 segments. The bar graph depicts, the senior citizen which
fall
Change the verb form
falls
show examples
 in the category of
age
 group i.e. 65 and over there is
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 of 0.4% only.
Overall
Add an article
The overall
show examples
 trend shows
women
 are more
enthusiatic
Correct your spelling
enthusiastic
 towards regular workouts in comparison to males. The females from
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 category of 25 to 64 are the major contributors to physical activity. In
Add a comma
,contract
show examples
contract
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
 of early
age
 i.e.15to 24 are found to be less active when compared with younger boys.  In conclusion, that
women
 are found to be more persistent in
morning
Correct pronoun usage
their morning
show examples
 active routine when
with
Change preposition
than
show examples
men's
Change noun form
men
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by dewansurbhee7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: