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Writing Samples
Band 3

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting & reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting & reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #summarise #information #features #comparison
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In 2010, daily
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 activity
performed
Add a missing verb
was performed
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 by
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of Australian men and
women
Use synonyms
 who belongs
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 various
age
Use synonyms
 segments. The bar graph depicts, the senior citizen which
fall
Change the verb form
falls
show examples
 in the category of
age
Use synonyms
 group i.e. 65 and over there is
Correct article usage
a slight
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slight
Change the adjective
slightly
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different
Replace the word
difference
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 of 0.4% only.
Linking Words
Overall
Add an article
The overall
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 trend shows
women
Use synonyms
 are more
enthusiatic
Correct your spelling
enthusiastic
 towards regular workouts in comparison to males. The females from
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 category of 25 to 64 are the major contributors to physical activity. In
Add a comma
,contract
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contract
Correct your spelling
contrast
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 of early
age
Use synonyms
 i.e.15to 24 are found to be less active when compared with younger boys.  In conclusion, that
women
Use synonyms
 are found to be more persistent in
morning
Correct pronoun usage
their morning
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 active routine when
with
Change preposition
than
show examples
men's
Change noun form
men
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of
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by dewansurbhee7 on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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