The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting & reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting & reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
In data shows statistics
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2010,
tells
Correct subject-verb agreement
tell
show examples
about
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
of Australian
males
and
females
Change noun form
females'
female's
show examples
daily sports activity in various life stages. The shows the
percentage
change in form of
bar
Add an article
a bar
the bar
show examples
graph. The data
tells
Change the verb form
tell
show examples
the trend of
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
, teenagers, adults and senior citizens. The bar graph depicts, the
girls
Change noun form
girl's
girls'
show examples
line
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the segment of 15 to 24 only 47.7%
contributor
Fix the agreement mistake
contributors
show examples
,
whereas
boys are 52.8% i.e. boys
approximately
Add a missing verb
are approximately
show examples
5% higher than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls. 
Furthermore
,
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
senior citizen which
falls
Correct subject-verb agreement
fall
show examples
 into the category of
age
group
i.e. 65 and over there is
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
difference of only 0.4%. When we consider the segment of people that runs between
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
of mid-twenties to mid-sixties,
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
women are leading the show in terms of daily workouts,
males
lag behind.
While
looking at the bigger picture, the
percentage
of
females
was persistently progressive as
age
segments
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
show examples
the
age
group
above 65.
However
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
percentage
of
males
was quite fluctuating as in
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
between 15 to 24
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hold
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
portion, and from
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
of 25 to 64 the data was inconsistent. But, men almost
touches
Correct subject-verb agreement
touch
show examples
mark
that is
similar to the bar of
females
.
To sum up
, that
females
are found to be more persistent in their morning active routine when than men in society. The
overall
trend shows women are more enthusiastic towards regular workouts in comparison to
males
.
Submitted by dewansurbhee7 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, males, females, age, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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