IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts show the comparison of different kind of energy consumption of the UK in two years.

The pie charts show the comparison of different kind of energy consumption of the UK in two years.
#show #comparison #energy #consumption #uk #two #years
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The charts illustrate various kinds of
energy
Use synonyms
 which were produced in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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UK in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 were the most
common
Change the word
commonly
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 produced kinds of
Use synonyms
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
 in both years. In 1995, it was clearly shown that coal,
gas
Use synonyms
 and petrol were the most popular types of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced during
this
Linking Words
 year. To be more specific, the
firgue
Correct your spelling
figure
virtue
 of those three
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 is relatively the same, at 29.80%, 29.63% and 29.27% respectively. It was
then
Linking Words
 followed by nuclear, which was only allocated 6.4%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, only under 5% of
energy
Use synonyms
 was generated by other
sources
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
. In 2005, most of the
energy
Use synonyms
 was generated by coal and
gas
Use synonyms
, in which, coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 shared the two even parts of 30.93% and 30.31% respectively. Petrol followed with around 19.55% of
Use synonyms
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced.
Besides
Linking Words
, nuclear only accounted for nearly a tenth of
total
Correct article usage
the total
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Use synonyms
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced.
Lastly
Linking Words
, other
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced only 9.10% of
Use synonyms
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to other
sources
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ph.phuonganh96 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, engergy, sources with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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