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Band 5.5

The pie charts show the comparison of different kind of energy consumption of the UK in two years.

The pie charts show the comparison of different kind of energy consumption of the UK in two years.
#show #comparison #energy #consumption #uk #two #years
The charts illustrate various kinds of
energy
 which were produced in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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UK in 1995 and 2005.
Overall
, coal and
gas
 were the most
common
Change the word
commonly
show examples
 produced kinds of
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
 in both years. In 1995, it was clearly shown that coal,
gas
 and petrol were the most popular types of
energy
 produced during
this
 year. To be more specific, the
firgue
Correct your spelling
figure
virtue
 of those three
sources
 of
energy
 is relatively the same, at 29.80%, 29.63% and 29.27% respectively. It was
then
 followed by nuclear, which was only allocated 6.4%.
Furthermore
, only under 5% of
energy
 was generated by other
sources
 of
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
. In 2005, most of the
energy
 was generated by coal and
gas
, in which, coal and
gas
 shared the two even parts of 30.93% and 30.31% respectively. Petrol followed with around 19.55% of
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
produced.
Besides
, nuclear only accounted for nearly a tenth of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
produced.
Lastly
, other
sources
 of
energy
 produced only 9.10% of
engergy
Correct your spelling
energy
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other
sources
.
Submitted by ph.phuonganh96 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, engergy, sources with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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