IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.

The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.
The given line graphs illustrate the production and
demand
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 for steel in a million tons and the
number
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 of employees working In the metal factory in the UK in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the first graph shows the
demand
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 for steel has an unstable
number
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 from
January
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 to
December
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. The second line shows that workers in the early months of the year
is
Change the verb form
are
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 higher than in the
last
Linking Words
 three month of the year. The first graph depicts the
demand
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 for steel in the market. The amount produced between
January
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 to
December
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 experienced fluctuating production. In
January
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 the
number
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 starts at 4000, from April to the end of July the
number
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 is almost the same. The increase happens
in
Change preposition
from
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 August to October and in
December
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 it becomes under 1000. The actual
demand
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 in
January
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 at 2000 and in
December
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 returned to 2000 after experiencing fluctuation
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 February to November. The second graph shows the
number
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 of employees in
January
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 at 5000 and comes to April the
number
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 is decreasing and experiencing changes till
December
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. From April to
December
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 the
number
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 falls, but in August the
number
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 of employees slightly rises by 3500 and turns to a low
number
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 at 1000 in
December
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words demand, number, january, december with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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