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Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #women
In recent years
women
 are
strongely
Correct your spelling
strongly
strangely
 presented in different fields of
work
 but the majority of
superior -degree
Correct your spelling
superior-degree
show examples
 jobs in companies are
occuboid
Correct your spelling
occupied
 by males .
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 more than half of the
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
, which is found in some developing countries , are ⁰
women
 .
Subsequently
 , many people believe that it is essential that companies should allocate a
paticular
Correct your spelling
particular
 proportion of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
positions
 to
women
 but I disagree .
Firstly
 , I believe that only
qulifications
Correct your spelling
qualifications
qualification
 and degree of skills should determine who
deserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserves
show examples
 superior
positions
 in any workplace .
High level
Add a hyphen
High-level
show examples
positions
 affect
success
Correct article usage
the success
show examples
 and durability of the company .
Therefore
 , it is very critical to
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
 on any other factors unless
qulifications
Correct your spelling
qualifications
, skills and
percisions
Correct your spelling
precision
precisions
.
For example
 , if the
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
 of
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 should choose someone to upgrade and get
promotion
Add an article
a promotion
the promotion
show examples
 , he should choose him or her
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
show examples
 how much are they able to benefit the
depatment
Correct your spelling
department
.
Hence
 , I believe that if
this
 only the
measures
Fix the agreement mistake
measure
show examples
 to determine who
deserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserves
show examples
 the position all employees will be satisfied .
Secondly
 , If governments embrace
this
 rule which
obligate
Wrong verb form
obligates
show examples
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
 to hire
Correct article usage
a spacific
show examples
spacific
Correct your spelling
specific
 ratio of
women
 in superior
positions
 ,
this
 will
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 an unfair
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 and allow for
futhur
Correct your spelling
further
future
 discrimination and
unsatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
 among employees .
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
this
 will not be in the favor of
work
 .
For example
 , If the owner had to promote one of two employers he should consider the ratio of
women
 who are in
this
 position rather than searching for quality of
work
 .
Consquently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, I believe that whatever the ratio of
women
 and men who are presented in
high status
Add a hyphen
high-status
show examples
 only qualification should be considered . In conclusion , most
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 status in companies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 filled by males despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that the
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
 in many developing countries is more than 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 female .
However
 , I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that governments shouldn't dedicate a certain percentage of these jobs to
women
 because
this
 will not be in the favour of the company and it will create a trigger for
unjustice
Correct your spelling
injustice
show examples
 and
discremination
Correct your spelling
discrimination
.
Submitted by Ahmed_abdel_salam on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender diversity
  • Affirmative action
  • Meritocracy
  • Quotas
  • Glass ceiling
  • Legal enforcement
  • Tokenism
  • Voluntary measures
  • Career progression
  • Representation
  • Workforce parity
  • Backlash
  • Historical imbalances
  • Corporate governance
  • Inclusive practices
  • Boardroom dynamics
  • Gender norms
  • Unconscious bias
  • Regulatory frameworks
  • Corporate ladder
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