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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #show #percentages #men #women #employment #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The illustration depicts the percentage of people that worked in Canada, South Korea and
Sweden
 in 2005 and 2015.
Overall
, the significant differences happened in the employment rates of
women
, rather than
men
. Because the
number
 of females in all three countries
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 decreased, but the
number
 of employed males
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased in Canada and South Korea
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but decreased in
Sweden
. In 2005 approximately 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
men
 were employed and about 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
women
.
Add a missing verb
were.
show examples
 But
this
number
 has changed
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
men
 and almost 55
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
women
. In
Canada
Add a comma
,Canada
show examples
 employment
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 of both genders have increased, unlike
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Sweden
. Because
Sweden
 in 2005 about 80% of
men
 had a job and almost half of
women
 were employed. The percentages have changed a little bit. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
males
Add a comma
,males
show examples
this
number
 has decreased to 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, but the
number
 of
women
 that were employed
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 slightly increased to 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In South
Korea
Add a comma
,Korea
show examples
 the
number
 of employed
men
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased from about 75
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to approximately 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The
number
 percentage of females
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 risen from 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to about 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by Ayan on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, women, men, number, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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