the chart shows the proportion of graduates from Bluesky University in 2006 entering different employment sectors.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for the chart shows the proportion of graduates from Bluesky University in 2006 entering different employment sectors.

The presented chart demonstrates the ratio of graduates from Bluesky University in 2006 whom entered different employment sectors . It is giving the percentages who worked in each of various sectors after finishing university. As can be observed, about one-third of graduates

employed

Add a missing verb

are employed

show examples

in service industries.

Moreover

Linking Words

, above one-fourth of them joined

manufacturing

Correct article usage

the manufacturing

show examples

industry.

In addition

Linking Words

, education and politics and government have nearly less than 15 per cent and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

become

third

Correct article usage

the third

show examples

and fourth

beloved

Correct quantifier usage

most beloved

show examples

sectors.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, entertainment and media and

also

Linking Words

science

Correct article usage

the science

show examples

and technology sector had almost similar

percentage

Fix the agreement mistake

percentages

show examples

which means that most students prefer these areas more than civil service with

5.6

Correct article usage

a 5.6

show examples

bonus, charity and sport with a bit less than 1 per cent and others in the specific year.

Overall

Linking Words

, the most popular careers which are service industries, manufacturing industry, education and politics and government are having the most employment.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,the least favoured areas like charity and sport have less than a per cent in the chart from Bluesky University’s graduates in 2006.

javadsaady1992

May 21, 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

170 words

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the chart shows the proportion of graduates from Bluesky University in 2006 entering different employment sectors.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages, and if so, how?

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not enough physical exercise. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures are there to this problem?

Air pollution is the most important concern of many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this issue?

In order to study at university, students are required to pay expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford them, so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?