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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two line graphs below show New Zealand import figures from Australia and Japan in the years 1994 - 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two line graphs below show New Zealand import figures from Australia and Japan in the years 1994 - 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #line #graphs #show #zealand #import #figures #australia #japan #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two line graphs
details
Change the verb form
detail
show examples
 changes that occurred during the
period
Use synonyms
 that New
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
 imported from Austria and Japan. The line graphs show changes over a ten years
period
Use synonyms
, the information in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 line graphs is very similar, which means that we can compare it. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that for a long
period
Use synonyms
 in both cases the
numbers
Use synonyms
 fluctuation,
although
Linking Words
, in the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 the
imports
Use synonyms
 in Austria went up sharply, in the contrast scenarios the
numbers
Use synonyms
 of
imports
Use synonyms
 from Japan in the end plummeted. As
illustrate
Change the form of the verb
illustrated
show examples
 in the second graph that
report
Change the verb form
reports
show examples
 New Zealand
Imports
Use synonyms
 from Japan, we can visualize that during the
period
Use synonyms
 of 1994
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1997 the
numbers
Use synonyms
 went up rapidly and the peak was in 1997 with more than 6000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imports
Use synonyms
 million,
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
 the
numbers
Use synonyms
 of
imports
Use synonyms
 had a
considerably
Change the adverb
considerable
show examples
 decrease and in 1999 the
numbers
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 returned to rise,
however
Linking Words
 from 2000 to 2001 the
numbers
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 had a several dropped. In comparison, the
numbers
Use synonyms
 of
imports
Use synonyms
 in Australia , during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1994 to 2002 had fluctuations but in 2002 the
numbers
Use synonyms
 started to rise and the peak was in 2004 with 8
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imports
Use synonyms
. During a long
Use synonyms
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
imports
Use synonyms
 from both countries were fairly.
Submitted by marvinda.pereira on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, numbers, imports with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend analysis
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • significant changes
  • consistency
  • variations
  • overall growth
  • decline
  • diverge
  • converge
  • spiked
  • economic policies
  • trade agreements
  • global economic events
  • predictive insights
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