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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three type of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three type of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #type #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The pie charts illustrate three
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
un healthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
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 nutrients in typical meals by percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most notable trend that was
dinner
Use synonyms
contain
Wrong verb form
contained
show examples
 sodium and saturated fat in the higher amount,
while
Linking Words
 sugar had a domination in snacks. Sodium and
saturates
Wrong verb form
saturated
show examples
 fat had a similar proportion in the result, both of them were highly used in night
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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, and around
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 were added in lunch. Looking at the details, there were 43 per cent
sodiums
Fix the agreement mistake
sodium
show examples
 that has added
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
dinner
Use synonyms
, which was merely 1 per cent higher than "added sugar" in snacks. Meanwhile, there was a
quater
Correct your spelling
quarter
 of sugar has been added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
dinner
Correct article usage
the dinner
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, we can see that breakfast was the least
un healthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
 meal in the report.
For example
Linking Words
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 was a double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
breakfast in saturated fat. And a triple was found
while
Linking Words
 the early meal compared with the supper.
Submitted by yipcm202 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dinner with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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