the bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in ine month in 2015.

#bar #percentage #males #females #city #activities #ine #month

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of two genders aged between 18 and 20 taking part in different activities in a month in the year 2015.

Overall

Linking Words

, football was the most popular sport among adolescent

males

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

the

females

Use synonyms

preferred cycling the most.

Besides

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, all activities except for cycling had a significant difference in light of the participation rate between

males

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and

females

Use synonyms

. There were three sports in which a higher percentage of boys participated than girls. More than half of the boys played football

while

Linking Words

only 15% of their girl counterparts did in 2015.

In addition

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, the proportion of

males

Use synonyms

participating in basketball was about 33%, threefold that of

females

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. Hockey is the least attractive sport for both genders with only 12% of

males

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and 5% of

females

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participated

Wrong verb form

participating

show examples

this

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sport. Cycling and swimming were more preferred by

females

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than

males

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. To be more precise, swimming attracted around 35% of

females

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to participate , which was considerably higher than the figure for

males

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, about one-fifth within the gender.

In contrast

Linking Words

, there is a minor difference between the percentages in cycling. 40% of

females

Use synonyms

did cycling in

this

Linking Words

month, 5% higher than that of

males

Use synonyms

Submitted by yoyoghurtxd on Sat Jun 10 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

196 words

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the bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in ine month in 2015.

Learning a language is in childhood is important? Discuss.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others; however, believed that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

For some people, learning in a group is the most effective method while others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both ideas. What is your opinion?

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.