IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph illustrate female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. There are shown 4 graphs from each region of UK. There are England, Scotland, Wales and the last one Northern Ireland.

The graph illustrate female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. There are shown 4 graphs from each region of UK. There are England, Scotland, Wales and the last one Northern Ireland.
#unemployment #rates #country #kingdom #graphs #region #uk #england #scotland #wales #ireland
The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 female
unemployment
 rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. There are shown 4 graphs from each region of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. There are England,
Scotland
, Wales and the
last
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Northern Ireland.
Overall
, in 2013 England region takes the highest rate of female
unemployment
 about 6,8%.
However
, in 2014 went down to less than 6,5%.
Although
, North Ireland had the lowest percentage of female
unemployment
 in 2013 and 2014. After all, as the years go by, it decrease
each
Change preposition
in each
show examples
 region but not in
Scotland
, it rose significantly. During
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2013 and
2014
Add a comma
,2014
show examples
Scotland
 increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female
unemployment
 from 6.1% to 6.7%. Wales had the opposite effect to
Scotland
.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of female
unemployment
 gradually decreased from 5.4% to 5.0%.
In addition
, England
also
 decreased
unemployment
 but not significantly as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Northern Ireland with
distinctive
Add an article
a distinctive
the distinctive
show examples
 reduction from 5.6% to 4.6%.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, scotland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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