IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph illustrate female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. There are shown 4 graphs from each region of UK. There are England, Scotland, Wales and the last one Northern Ireland.

The graph illustrate female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. There are shown 4 graphs from each region of UK. There are England, Scotland, Wales and the last one Northern Ireland.
#unemployment #rates #country #kingdom #graphs #region #uk #england #scotland #wales #ireland
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The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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 female
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. There are shown 4 graphs from each region of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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. There are England,
Scotland
Use synonyms
, Wales and the
last
Linking Words
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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Northern Ireland.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 2013 England region takes the highest rate of female
unemployment
Use synonyms
 about 6,8%.
However
Linking Words
, in 2014 went down to less than 6,5%.
Although
Linking Words
, North Ireland had the lowest percentage of female
unemployment
Use synonyms
 in 2013 and 2014. After all, as the years go by, it decrease
each
Change preposition
in each
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 region but not in
Scotland
Use synonyms
, it rose significantly. During
the
Correct article usage
apply
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2013 and
2014
Add a comma
,2014
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Scotland
Use synonyms
 increased
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female
unemployment
Use synonyms
 from 6.1% to 6.7%. Wales had the opposite effect to
Scotland
Use synonyms
.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of female
unemployment
Use synonyms
 gradually decreased from 5.4% to 5.0%.
In addition
Linking Words
, England
also
Linking Words
 decreased
unemployment
Use synonyms
 but not significantly as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Northern Ireland with
distinctive
Add an article
a distinctive
the distinctive
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 reduction from 5.6% to 4.6%.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, scotland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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