IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that employers should give staff at least four weeks holiday per year to improve their job performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #employers #staff #four #weeks #holiday #year #job #performance
In today's competitive world, where employees have to go through stress and
Correct article usage
a hactic
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hactic
Correct your spelling
hectic
 work schedule, many people think that employers should give
staff
Add an article
the staff
show examples
 at least four weeks of holiday per year to improve their job performance and I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement to a large extent. In the
folowing
Correct your spelling
following
passage
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,passage
show examples
 I will state my reasons for my
beliefe
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belief
beliefs
 and elaborate it
further
. As we are aware, our lives as humans are
becomming
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becoming
 more stressful and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 very
challanging
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challenging
 to create a proper
worklife
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work-life
work life
 balance. Because of the busy schedules and meeting
dead
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deadlines
show examples
lines
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,lines
show examples
 it's
importnat
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important
 that organisations address the issue of employee wellbeing. In
the
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apply
show examples
recent
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
 we
has
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have
show examples
 seen
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of
goverment
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government
 and private agencies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
working towards the betterment of the workers
however
its
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it's
it is
show examples
 not the same in all
the
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apply
show examples
industries and at all levels of
hyrarcy
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hierarchy
.
Unbalanced
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An unbalanced
show examples
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
 can cause serious physical and mental issues with the workers.
This
 leads to many employment and family
realted
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related
 problems that
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
 a large number population. Holiday and
workbreaks
Correct your spelling
work breaks
 give a much needed personal time to employees where not only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relax and spend time with family, it
also
 gives them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to introspect and
reflact
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reflect
 on their lives which in
returns
Fix the agreement mistake
return
show examples
 leads to better mental health.
However
, more awareness must be created amongst
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the massess
show examples
massess
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masses
 about
the
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apply
show examples
labour wellbeing. Government policies and
ordinance
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ordinances
show examples
 to be made
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for better business practices for human resources and
given
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 four weeks off should be made
mendatory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 for all organisational workers. In conclusion,
its
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it's
show examples
importnat
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important
 to
underst
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understand
 that better
workforse
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workforce
 means
growing
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a growing
show examples
 economy and
flourishing
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a flourishing
show examples
 nation and
right
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the right
show examples
amout
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amount
 of leaves can play a vital role in the same. Where our we will have motivated staff and happy families
along with
 a great
socities
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societies
.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
Government
 and private institutions must come
togather
Correct your spelling
together
 to put
this policies
Change the determiner
this policy
these policies
show examples
 in place.
Submitted by iamsyedahad on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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