IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#contribution #three #sectors #agriculture #business #services #uk #economy #century #information #features #comparisons
The chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 information
of
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on
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 the three sectors which are agriculture,
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
,
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 help of the UK economy in the twentieth century.
Overall
,
Bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
show examples
 and
financial
Correct your spelling
financials
show examples
 was the most significant
sector
 by far. The
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and financial increase its
dominace
Correct your spelling
dominance
, whilst
other
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others
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 had
huge
Add an article
a huge
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loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
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. Between the
year
of
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apply
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1900 and 2000
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
 grew substantially from approximately 3% to about 35%.
This
 shows that
Correct article usage
the bussiness
show examples
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and financial
sector
 dominate the UK economy in the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000.
While
 the
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and financial
sector
 showed
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
growth,
however
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,however
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 other sectors
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced a huge loss. in the
year
of
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apply
show examples
1900
Add a comma
,1900
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 agriculture was leading the UK economy. Sadly, after a slightly increased in 1950 to about 50%, the
sector
 experienced a huge drop to almost not contributing anything in the
year
of
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apply
show examples
2000.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 the
manufacture
Change the verb form
manufacturing
show examples
sector
 always
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 over the
year
.
Submitted by rafeyfa.dea on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bussiness, sector, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • Declining trend
  • Agrarian economy
  • Fluctuations
  • Industrial advancements
  • Recessions
  • Significant growth
  • Service-oriented industries
  • Dynamic economic structure
  • Traditional sectors
  • Modern service-based sectors
  • Urbanization
  • Technological advancements
  • Global market integrations
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