IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial service - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial service - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.
The column chart revealed that UK industrial in the
last
Linking Words
 century was influenced by three fields - farming, construction and financial
business
Use synonyms
.
Overall
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, the effects of provinces on economics tended to decrease. It is
also
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 apparent there was an exception that the percentage of finance increased significantly. As regards the
first,
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the cultivation had a rate of close to the premium, nearly 50%. There had been a slight upward before dropping dramatically about 2% in 2000. By contrast, in 1900
business
Use synonyms
 was practically not as much power as the rest.
This
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 figure stood at nearly 5% and
then
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 climbed sharply to over 30%.
As a result
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, finance and
business
Use synonyms
 became significant to the development of the UK. The proportion of husbandry and financial
business
Use synonyms
 had strongly changed.
This
Linking Words
 compared with manufacturing that was witnessed a stable when the figure did not drop under 10%.
Although
Linking Words
 the fact that the sense of construction still decreased gradually, from 45% to 15% in 2000. It was noticeable that agro-forestry production was replaced by trading and commerce little by little over the years.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words business with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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