IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter describe the problem with the new employee has caused explain how other colleagues feel about the new employee's conduct say how you expect the manager to address the situation

#employee #workplace #hr #manager #colleagues #conduct #address #situation
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Dear
Mr
Use synonyms
. Smith, I am writing to complain about
Mr
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. Luca
Carnevale
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, the new colleague of our customer service. Since his first day,
Mr
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.
Carnevale
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 has been rude
with
Change preposition
to
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 colleagues
as well as
Linking Words
 customers.
For example
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,
last
Linking Words
friday
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Friday
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 Ms. Kelly was
in
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apply
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late for our daily meeting, so
Mr
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.
Carnevale
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 got angry
,
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apply
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 and started to scream and
then
Linking Words
 he left the room. Another time, he did not
to
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apply
show examples
do a task
for helping
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to help
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 an old
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
, as he thought it was boring and useless. Our team is very disappointed and tired
about
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of
show examples
Use synonyms
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
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Use synonyms
Carnevale
Change noun form
Carnevale's
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 conduct
,
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apply
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 because he is always arrogant and bad-tempered. We tried to talk with him and to be patient, but his behaviour has not changed. Could you please talk with
Mr
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.
Carnevale
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, and
finding
Wrong verb form
find
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 an agreement to solve
this
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 uncomfortable situation? Thank you for your help in
this
Linking Words
 matter and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Lisa Quarenghi
Submitted by quarenghi.lisa on

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task response
The letter does not fully address the task requirements. It should provide more specific examples of the new employee's behavior and how it affects the workplace.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate, but the overall tone of the letter could be more formal and professional.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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