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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of males and females who worked in three different sectors in two countries in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of males and females who worked in three different sectors in two countries in 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #males #females #three #sectors #two #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates the ratio of men and
women
Use synonyms
 from two countries working in three different sectors during 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of Men and
women
Use synonyms
 in both countries are working in service. Ladies associated with
agriculture
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 A
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 higher than in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 because a very less proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 are working in
agriculture
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
An
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 average male working in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 is
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
 high than in
country
Use synonyms
 A, with 65% and 56% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, gentlemen aligned with
agriculture
Use synonyms
 are very high for
country
Use synonyms
 A as compared to
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 because only 3% in
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 and 29% in
country
Use synonyms
 A.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 for Females, Almost all the
women
Use synonyms
 are working in service which is 88% for
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 and almost half of the
women
Use synonyms
 working in the same profession in
country
Use synonyms
 A.
However
Linking Words
, there is a sharp difference in females working in
agriculture
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 A stands at 43% and
country
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 at only 8%. There are no
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in industry working type for both the countries with around 10%.
Submitted by kintans54 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, agriculture, country, b with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • percentage
  • sector
  • comparison
  • male
  • female
  • country
  • evaluation
  • trend
  • proportion
  • data
  • contrast
  • variation
  • labor market
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