IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The provided diagrams displays the percentage of water usage for several purposes in six regions.

The provided diagrams displays the percentage of water usage for several purposes in six regions.
The provided diagrams
displays
Change the verb form
display
show examples
 the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 usage for several purposes in six regions. Generally speaking, as it can be seen agricultural
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
dominants
Replace the word
dominate
show examples
 among other spheres in
water
Use synonyms
 expenses. Upon initial observation, it becomes evident that North America
as well as
Linking Words
 Europe differed from the rest of
territories
Correct article usage
the territories
show examples
 and only 2 areas where
water
Use synonyms
usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
show examples
 used in industrial goals, accounting for approximately 50% for each. In comparison with both of them, in Africa and Central
Asia
Add a comma
,Asia
show examples
 the industrial field requires the minimum amount of
water
Use synonyms
 and they are lower than 10 per cent. A closer examination of the charts revealed that in
such
Linking Words
 areas as Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia people use
water
Use synonyms
 for domestic purposes less than people in North and South America
as well as
Linking Words
 Europe.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provided" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: