The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006. You should write at least 150 words.

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

You should write at least 150 words.
The given chart shows the proportion of average consumption of fruit and vegetables based on gender and
age
group
according to
the suggestion of
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Health Organization in the UK in 2006.
Overall
, the figure for
women
was higher than
men
Change preposition
for men
show examples
, except when they
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
older.
According to
the data, the trend of
women
depict
Correct subject-verb agreement
depicts
show examples
a gradual increase starting from
age
19 - 54 and reached a peak when they
entering
Wrong verb form
entered
show examples
middle
age
by 35 %. In comparison, men aged 34 - 54 remain steady in the vicinity of 23 %. Afterwards, as they
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
older,
women
showed less
exitement
Correct your spelling
excitement
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
consuming healthy food
whereas
the proportion plummeted to 25%.
On the other hand
, by
age
19-34
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
proportion increased steadily from 15% to 20 % . Meanwhile, at
age
35- 54 was leveled off;
however
, it
bounce
Wrong verb form
bounced
show examples
back to 32 % when entering middle
age
.
Moreover
, as
women
, the trend decreased when they
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
older and shared
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
number at
age
75 by 25% respectively.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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