The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

#world #health #organization #people #five #portion #fruit #vegetables #bar #percentage #males #females #uk #age #group

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The given chart shows the proportion of average consumption of fruit and vegetables based on gender and

age

Use synonyms

group

according to

Linking Words

the suggestion of

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

Health Organization in the UK in 2006.

Overall

Linking Words

, the figure for

women

Use synonyms

was higher than

men

Change preposition

for men

show examples

, except when they

grow

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

older.

According to

Linking Words

the data, the trend of

women

Use synonyms

depict

Correct subject-verb agreement

depicts

show examples

a gradual increase starting from

age

Use synonyms

19 - 54 and reached a peak when they

entering

Wrong verb form

entered

show examples

middle

age

Use synonyms

by 35 %. In comparison, men aged 34 - 54 remain steady in the vicinity of 23 %. Afterwards, as they

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

older,

women

Use synonyms

showed less

exitement

Correct your spelling

excitement

Change preposition

about

show examples

consuming healthy food

whereas

Linking Words

the proportion plummeted to 25%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, by

age

Use synonyms

19-34

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

proportion increased steadily from 15% to 20 % . Meanwhile, at

age

Use synonyms

35- 54 was leveled off;

however

Linking Words

, it

bounce

Wrong verb form

bounced

show examples

back to 32 % when entering middle

age

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, as

women

Use synonyms

, the trend decreased when they

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

older and shared

similar

Correct article usage

a similar

show examples

number at

age

Use synonyms

75 by 25% respectively.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Sep 17 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

166 words

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The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

Some people think that qualities a person needs to become succesfull in today's world cannot be learned at university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?