The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006. You should write at least 150 words.

#world #health #organization #people #five #portion #fruit #vegetables #bar #percentage #males #females #uk #age #group

The given chart shows the proportion of average consumption of fruit and vegetables based on gender and

age

group

according to

the suggestion of

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

Health Organization in the UK in 2006.

Overall

, the figure for

women

was higher than

men

Change preposition

for men

show examples

, except when they

grow

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

older.

According to

the data, the trend of

women

depict

Correct subject-verb agreement

depicts

show examples

a gradual increase starting from

age

19 - 54 and reached a peak when they

entering

Wrong verb form

entered

show examples

middle

age

by 35 %. In comparison, men aged 34 - 54 remain steady in the vicinity of 23 %. Afterwards, as they

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

older,

women

showed less

exitement

Correct your spelling

excitement

Change preposition

about

show examples

consuming healthy food

whereas

the proportion plummeted to 25%.

On the other hand

, by

age

19-34

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

proportion increased steadily from 15% to 20 % . Meanwhile, at

age

35- 54 was leveled off;

however

, it

bounce

Wrong verb form

bounced

show examples

back to 32 % when entering middle

age

Moreover

, as

women

, the trend decreased when they

get

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

older and shared

similar

Correct article usage

a similar

show examples

number at

age

75 by 25% respectively.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Sep 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

166 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
why it is often for more and more people finding out about the history behind their house or buildings, what are the reasons, and how they find the resources?
It is discussed that many homeowners around the world are curious about their house's background story. In my opinion, despite to feel safe and secure, most people also slightly wanting some horror involvement which could be a fun story to tell.
7
band
It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?
It is believed nowadays that physical activities are beneficial for children and teenagers. Therefore, it is mandatory for all pupils to have physical education and sports in all schools. This essay fully agrees with this statement because it will benefit their health and widen their life opportunities.
5.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Of late , researches rely on the opinion that a new language should be taught to children from their very young age rather than waiting for the high school teachers to teach them. Studying a new prose right from the initial days of life has its own pros and cons. This essay is on the opinion that the merits are worthy in order to neglect its drawbacks. The reasons for arriving at this point is explained below.
5.5
band
Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that millions of dollars are invested in space research anually. While the majority of people believe that the money should be taken to improve living standards on Earth. This writer disagrees with this statement due to the fact that there will be no land for people to live on the planet Earth and the natural resources are running out.
4
band
Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this fast-paced world, everyone has a different taste when it comes to clothing, where some like to dress perfectly while other don't. There are some institutions who ween that their workers should dressed up neatly and smartly. There are other who reckon that the perfection of the job plays a vital role over appearance. In my point of view, I believe the quality is more important than the looks of clothing.

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006. You should write at least 150 words.

why it is often for more and more people finding out about the history behind their house or buildings, what are the reasons, and how they find the resources?

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.