Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports club, believing that this will make their staff healthier and effective at work. Other employees see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate and reach a conclusion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some job owners offer their workers reduced membership at gyms and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centres with the intention of improving their health and effectiveness at
work
Use synonyms
. Some
employees
Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, do not see the need in doing so. On the one hand, exercise is one key
ways
Change to a singular noun
way
show examples
of staying healthy.
However
Linking Words
, a lot of individuals have busy lifestyles
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
making it tough for them to make
time
Use synonyms
for
this
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if an employer deems it necessary to take steps that will enable the
employees
Use synonyms
to do so, I will say it's a positive step.
This
Linking Words
means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they will incorporate the schedule into the working
time
Use synonyms
of the
employees
Use synonyms
to make it possible for them to do so.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
find it encouraging to take part in exercises that familiar faces are
also
Linking Words
doing. As
such
Linking Words
, those who originally did not have the interest may find it encouraging to
work
Use synonyms
out
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. I must
therefore
Linking Words
say, that
such
Linking Words
an initiative by an authority of a company is commendable as its members will be fit to execute their tasks at
work
Use synonyms
well and in my opinion
employees
Use synonyms
should readily support
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I know some
people
Use synonyms
do not support the idea that their employers should be involved in their fitness activity routine. The prime reason is their
yearn
Replace the word
yearning
show examples
for privacy. Deciding to exercise is a very personal move and I know
this
Linking Words
is true. Some individuals even believe as adults, we should be at liberty to choose what we want to use our
time
Use synonyms
for,
thus
Linking Words
enrolling workers at a fitness club is a way to teach them how to use their
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is something some
people
Use synonyms
do not like. That aside, some members enjoy working out with their families and registering them alone at a public gym wouldn't suit their private routine with their families and will only make them incur extra
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
out but not at the gym and disrupting their routine in the name of the
worklife
Correct your spelling
work
will be bothersome to them. With these points, it is quite understandable why these
people
Use synonyms
are against employers'
subsidy
Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
show examples
for their exercise routine.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I opine with the overwhelming
work
Use synonyms
schedule prohibiting many
people
Use synonyms
from exercising,
people
Use synonyms
should be happy to grasp any opportunity that will enable them
engage
Add the particle
to engage
show examples
in working out. I completely agree with the employer's idea.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: