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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
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The display charts shows the proportions of British student are one university in England who were to speak other
languages
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to England in 2000
as well as
Linking Words
 2010. The data is on No other
language
Use synonyms
, German only, Another
language
Use synonyms
, French only,
Spanish
Use synonyms
 only and Two other
languages
Use synonyms
. In the year 2000, the highest was
Spanish
Use synonyms
 only with 30, No other
language
Use synonyms
 was 20, French only
as well as
Linking Words
 Another
language
Use synonyms
 was equal with 15,
also
Linking Words
 Two other
languages
Use synonyms
 and Germany only was equal with 10. In the year 2010, the highest was
Spanish
Use synonyms
 with 35, Another
language
Use synonyms
 was 20, and No other
language
Use synonyms
 is 10, Germany only is 10 , French only is 10 ,
Spanish
Use synonyms
 only is 10 and Two other
language
Use synonyms
 was
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10.
Thus
Linking Words
, the highest
speak
Replace the word
spoken
show examples
Use synonyms
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
show examples
 is
Spanish
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
 is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 change.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the above information is on 2000 and 2010. There 6
languages
Use synonyms
speak
Change the form of the verb
spoken
show examples
 in England.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, language, spanish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
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