The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

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The world health company suggest that humans should consume five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The diagram provides information about the percentage of gender in the UK by

age

categories in 2006.

According to

the data , 15 % of

men

eat five or more portions of fruit and vegetables per day by 19-24 young persons , women eat nearly

above

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2 percent more than

men

. Ration in

Correct article usage

the 25

show examples

-34

age

category by males is 20% and females approximately more than 3 % . Female domination was observed again ( 25 % ) above

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

3 % in the middle

age

group ( 35-44 ) . The percentage increase in

men

who are 10 years older is not noticeable but the number of females

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased by nearly 2 % .

Portion

Add an article

A portion

The portion

show examples

of older people ( 55-64)

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

dramatically

rise

Change the form of the verb

rising

show examples

. In

men

approximately 22 % to 32 % and in women 27 % to 35 % . In advanced years

this

trend

Verb problem

has

show examples

decreased . Males

above

Add a missing verb

are above

show examples

2 % and women are 30 % . In 75 , both

gender

Change to a plural noun

genders

show examples

consume the same percentage ( 25 % )

Overall

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

comparison , females eat more fruit and vegetables than

men

during their life and only in elderly

age

this

Add a missing verb

is this

show examples

tendency is same .

Submitted by elnur.adil on Thu Sep 21 2023

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

218 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

Some educationalist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweight the disadvantages.

Today there is a great increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect to others. What are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce this problem?

Too much emphasis is placed on testing this days, the need to prepare for test and examination is a restriction on teachers and also exerts unnecessary pressure on young learners. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?