Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?
It is being argued that,
although
there are more than 50 per cent female workers in many developed nations, most of the workers in senior Linking Words
management
are male. Use synonyms
Companies
should be required to fix a percentage of these jobs for Use synonyms
women
. I strongly agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because Linking Words
women
consumers would be able to relate with them, and junior-level female employees might feel safer.
Use synonyms
Women
might attract more female consumers. Use synonyms
In other words
, many Linking Words
companies
have target customers who are female, and Use synonyms
thus
female Linking Words
management
would be able to provide better solutions to increase the company’s sales and profits. Use synonyms
For example
,in an interview, Raj Shamani director of Pee Safe, a Linking Words
women
's hygiene brand, said that the company’s sales had increased after his wife joined the directorship. Use synonyms
Hence
, I strongly think that Linking Words
women
employees should become a part of high-level Use synonyms
management
Junior-level female employees would feel more safe. Use synonyms
This
is because they would be able to complain about sexual and other harassment to senior Linking Words
management
confidently since they know that a senior female manager would hear them. Use synonyms
For instance
, sexual harassment cases in Reliance were reduced drastically after Nita Ambani joined as a Director. Linking Words
Therefore
, I strongly believe that Linking Words
companies
should make a rule to hire a fixed percentage of females in senior positions.
In conclusion, even though more than 50 per cent of workers are female in many developed nations, most top-level managers are male. Use synonyms
Companies
should make a rule to fix a certain percentage of females in top positions. I strongly agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because female consumers would be attracted, and junior female staff would feel more secure.Linking Words
Submitted by KaranAwal15 on
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Language Use and Style
Do not overuse 'I strongly agree.' Once should be enough to communicate your thinking.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are some repetitive statements throughout the essay, avoid such repetition to keep your arguments crisp and engaging.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on why you believe companies should mandate a percentage of positions for women beyond customer relatability and safety, to provide a more comprehensive argument.