IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Last week, you celebrated your birthday with some friends in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed yourselves very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter mention the food and service explain that you really enjoyed the atmosphere suggest any improvements to make things better You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#week #birthday #friends #restaurant #success #food #service #atmosphere #improvements #addresses #sir #madam
Dear Sir, I am Jhon and I celebrated my 21st birthday in your restaurant
last
 week. It was a night party and my party
held
Add a missing verb
was held
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hall no 02. First of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 I want to thank everyone
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your restaurant for helping me to complete my event successfully. Everyone enjoyed
really
Correct pronoun usage
it really
show examples
 well and they have given good feedback about your services and food.
Food
Correct article usage
The food
show examples
 was very tasty and your staff took care of everything from start to end of the function.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the music band you provided was a really good one and their performance was really well. Everyone enjoyed their music really well.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 I need to mention
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lighting and decorations you provided.
Lighting
Correct article usage
The lighting
show examples
 system and decorations provided extra value to my function. Everything was really well organized and my only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
 on that evening was the toilet facility you provided. That wasn't cleaned well. So please make sure to arrange
someone
Change preposition
for someone
show examples
 to clean well before the function. Thank you. Kind regards Jhon
Submitted by skdikshan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: