Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be require to allocate a certain percentage of these position to women. Do you agree?

#level #positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #position #women

Despite an incremental population of

women

shown in various industries, in some

companies

Add a comma

,companies

show examples

there are even more

females

than males, and it is rare to find

women

in senior

occupations

. Whilst some people suggest that regulations for commercial institutions secure the number of high-level positions for

women

, I could not agree with

such

perspectives since

gender

should not be the priority to define their working performance. On the one hand, proponents, who are in favour of prompting strict rules to secure these

occupations

for

women

, are convinced that

gender

discrimination is the main cause of only a few

females

playing the roles of managers. There are many statistics indicating the unfair treatment

women

face in the workplace, which makes them work twice as hard but still unable to have equal rewards as their male peers.

For example

, in an experiment asking for performance feedback regarding an identical project under male and female names respectively, the result shows that the one under a female name received more queries compared to the other. Increasing the number of

females

in senior

occupations

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could enhance their influence in male-dominated industries and prompt a

gender

-equal working environment.

On the other hand

, I could not agree with

such

opinions since

gender

should not be prioritized in selecting candidates for senior

occupations

instead

companies

should provide equal and transparent censorship to promote suitable employees, which focus more on personal capacity and characteristics. It not only benefits female employees but allows

companies

to enhance their competitiveness.

For instance

, one of the most famous shipping commercial institutions FedEx introduced artificial intelligence to score their workers based on their working performance to prevent possible prejudice regarding

gender

. To summarise, the truth of

gender

discrimination toward

females

is undeniable,

however

, I could not agree with those who suggest

companies

should secure a certain amount of high-level positions for

females

since I believe the best solution to address the current issue is to provide a working environment for competent individuals to have opportunities to better contribute to

companies

they are working for.

Submitted by unapoya0916 on Mon Oct 02 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be require to allocate a certain percentage of these position to women. Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solution?