Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be require to allocate a certain percentage of these position to women. Do you agree?

#level #positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #position #women

Despite an incremental population of

women

shown in various industries, in some

companies

Add a comma

,companies

show examples

there are even more

females

than males, and it is rare to find

women

in senior

occupations

. Whilst some people suggest that regulations for commercial institutions secure the number of high-level positions for

women

, I could not agree with

such

perspectives since

gender

should not be the priority to define their working performance. On the one hand, proponents, who are in favour of prompting strict rules to secure these

occupations

for

women

, are convinced that

gender

discrimination is the main cause of only a few

females

playing the roles of managers. There are many statistics indicating the unfair treatment

women

face in the workplace, which makes them work twice as hard but still unable to have equal rewards as their male peers.

For example

, in an experiment asking for performance feedback regarding an identical project under male and female names respectively, the result shows that the one under a female name received more queries compared to the other. Increasing the number of

females

in senior

occupations

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could enhance their influence in male-dominated industries and prompt a

gender

-equal working environment.

On the other hand

, I could not agree with

such

opinions since

gender

should not be prioritized in selecting candidates for senior

occupations

instead

companies

should provide equal and transparent censorship to promote suitable employees, which focus more on personal capacity and characteristics. It not only benefits female employees but allows

companies

to enhance their competitiveness.

For instance

, one of the most famous shipping commercial institutions FedEx introduced artificial intelligence to score their workers based on their working performance to prevent possible prejudice regarding

gender

. To summarise, the truth of

gender

discrimination toward

females

is undeniable,

however

, I could not agree with those who suggest

companies

should secure a certain amount of high-level positions for

females

since I believe the best solution to address the current issue is to provide a working environment for competent individuals to have opportunities to better contribute to

companies

they are working for.

Submitted by unapoya0916 on Mon Oct 02 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be require to allocate a certain percentage of these position to women. Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Which one do you think is the most important?

Some people believe that serious environmental problems can be solved by technological inventions and developments. Others think otherwise, saying that consuming less and having a simpler lifestyle is the way to go. Discuss and give your opinion.[386]

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern buildings look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What do you think is the reason for this, and is it a good thing or a bad thing?