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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below shows the value of one country export in various categories during 2015 and 2016. the table shows the percentage change in value of export in 2016

the chart below shows the value of one country export in various categories during 2015 and 2016. the table shows the percentage change in value of export in 2016
The given chart shows the
export
Use synonyms
earnings
Use synonyms
 of different
product
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
 namely petroleum
products
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, engineered goods , gems and jewellery, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and textiles in 2015 and 2016.
Also
Linking Words
, the comparison of
product
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
 in two years is
also
Linking Words
 given in
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
. It can be seen that
Use synonyms
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
category
Use synonyms
 of petroleum
products
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 high in demand
while
Linking Words
export
Use synonyms
earnings
Use synonyms
 of textiles
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 less in demand in 2015 and 2016. In 2015, petroleum
products
Use synonyms
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 60
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
export
Use synonyms
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015 and
this
Linking Words
figurre
Correct your spelling
figure
 went up by 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2016 which made an
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 of 63
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
. Around 58
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
export
Use synonyms
earnings
Use synonyms
 are seen in engineered
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 figure rose by 8.5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2016 . Gems and jewellery showed a high
export
Use synonyms
 earning rate in 2015 which was approximately 42
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 figure declined in 2016 by 5.18
percent
Use synonyms
. Agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 showed a similar trend in both years in 2015 and 2016. Only
0.81
Correct article usage
a 0.81
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of difference is noticed in
this
Linking Words
product
Use synonyms
category
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, the highest difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
export
Use synonyms
earnings
Use synonyms
 is shown in
textiles
Correct article usage
the textiles
show examples
product
Use synonyms
category
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and 2016 which holds 15.24
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. 25
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
export
Use synonyms
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in 2015 and more than
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
31
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 amount is reflected in 2016.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words export, earnings, product, category, products, billions, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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