IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You have seen an adverstisement for weekend work in a hotel in the town where you are staying. You have worked in a hotel before and think that the job would be suitable for you. You must apply in writing. Write a letter to the hotel manager expressing your interest. In your letter . Introduce yourself . Explain why you think you would be suitable for the job . ask what work you would be expected to do

#adverstisement #weekend #work #hotel #town #job #manager #interest
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to express my interest in
this
 career regarding the current advertisement for the
weekends
Change the noun form
weekend
show examples
 position at your
hotel
. My name is Ruqayah I am studying
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hotel
 management in master degree which means I am
a sutiable
Correct word choice
available
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 during the weekends I have been working at
Hilton
Correct article usage
the Hilton
show examples
hotel
Capitalize word
Hotel
show examples
last
 three months
ago
Rephrase
apply
show examples
as a receptionist I had
several
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
experience during that time
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
, I can
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
 any issue will happen to your
hotel
. I find
my self
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 have plenty of skills in
this
 role first I can solve problems
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wisely
Second,
I am patient with
cutomers
Correct your spelling
customers
third,
I am able to
working
Change the verb
work
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 as
accountant
Correct article usage
an accountant
show examples
my
Change preposition
with my
show examples
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree in accounting. I would like to
request to
Verb problem
ask
show examples
 you about
work
Add an article
the work
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 environment ,
moreover
 my duties if I
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work with you , what
tim
Correct your spelling
time
 the work
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
show examples
 faithfully, Ruqayah
Submitted by luhana.chii on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a more appropriate greeting and closing for a formal letter.
coherence cohesion
Focus on one main idea per paragraph to improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your claim of being suitable for the job.
task achievement
Maintain a more professional and formal tone throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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