The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided bar chart depicts the proportion of
Use synonyms
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australians
show examples
working out in 2010 based on their
age
Use synonyms
and gender.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it showcases the exercise
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
of
Use synonyms
Australian
Fix the agreement mistake
Australians
show examples
during that period of time.
Overall
Linking Words
, approximately half of the
Australian
Use synonyms
men and 40% of the
Australian
Use synonyms
women trained
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves in 2010. Surprisingly, the number of ladies who exercised outnumbered that of gentlemen in most of the
age
Use synonyms
groups by 5% except for the category of 15 to 24. Meanwhile, for 65 or over, both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
demonstrated a comparable proportion (around 47%) of people doing exercises. In conclusion, men who seemed to be more physically active indeed exercised less than women for most of the
age
Use synonyms
groups in 2010 Australia. Only young sportsmen at the
age
Use synonyms
of 15 to 24 were more than that of women who engaged in the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
field.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
What to do next:
Look at other essays: