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Band 4

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportions #graduates #brighton #university #employment #sectors #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie chart shows/illustrates the different industries for graduate
students
chose
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
 from Brighton
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 in 2019.
Overall
, graduates entering the service
industry
 occupied a much higher percentage than any other field.
In contrast
, sports were much lower than any other field. In 2019, it was
significantly
Change the word
significant
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 that more than
one a third
Correct your spelling
one-third
show examples
 (33%)
Change preposition
of graduates
show examples
graduates
Correct subject-verb agreement
graduate
show examples
students
selected
Add a missing verb
were selected
show examples
into
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the service industries, which was a host
industry
 for
students
’
choice
. The second and third
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
 had similar data that people
choice
 product
industry
 and education occupied 16.3% and 14.7% respectively, and the politics and government departments were allocated 12.1% graduates’
students
, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was the fourth place in
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
choice
industry
.
In addition
, the
remain
Change the verb form
remaining
show examples
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
 by
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
choice
such
 as transportation and warehousing, science and technology, civil service, charity, sports and others occupied a quarter(7.8%, 7.3%, 5.6%, 0.3%,0.1%,
2.8
Correct word choice
and 2.8
show examples
% respectively) in the whole
industry
 pie chart. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, in
this
industry
 sports and charity were not popular
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
students
choice
.
Submitted by ur790609922 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, industry, choice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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