Improving trade service and manufacturing sectors are essential for the development of poor nations. For this rich nations should take more responsibility to help poor nations in these areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The underdeveloped
countries
have been improving their export sectors and production parts. It is important to grow the
economy
through industrial sectors.
However
, the developed nations have obligations to give aid to the poor country but to some extent because they have many resources to
support
the poor
people
.
This
essay will elaborate
further
in the following paragraphs. In the modern era, the infrastructure level of developing
countries
is low and they do have not enough resources to boost their
economy
.
Besides
this
, education centres are not being built
due to
insufficient capital. Sometimes, exporting products are not made of good quality and the
economy
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
increase. If rich
countries
share their technology with poor
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
it will increase their
economy
.
Furthermore
, underprivileged societies have
Challenges
Change the verb form
Challenged
show examples
in implementing laws and policies they need assistance from developing societies. Foreign direct investment policy can encourage to increase of the reserves of the state.
Therefore
, underprivileged
people
can grow their communities and live a better life.
In addition
, The Role of International Organizations can
also
play a part in developing poor
people
by giving them financial aid. It is a Global Responsibility and Ethical Obligation to
support
their children to learn new skills and perform in their nations.
Moreover
, underprivileged
people
need to balance aid with domestic Interests. In a nutshell, the trading services of poor
countries
are low and
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
improvement but if foreigners can
support
them they can develop their land. In my opinion, it is true that foreign nations can
support
their development by trading with each other
as well as
funding their infrastructure by using technologies.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay's overall structure is evident, but it could benefit from a clearer progression of ideas. The introduction presents the topic, yet it fails to fully paraphrase the task and state a clear opinion. The conclusion attempts to summarize the points made, but it does not effectively restate the main argument or opinion. Aim to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs, ensuring each has a clear main idea and purpose.
task achievement
To better achieve the task, ensure that your response is complete and directly addresses the question throughout the essay. The opinion is somewhat clear but could be more explicitly stated, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should contribute to the overall argument, with examples that are not only relevant but also specific and well explained to support your points. Refrain from making vague statements that do not directly support the argument or address the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trade service
  • Manufacturing sector
  • Economic development
  • Globalization
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Infrastructure
  • Sustainable development
  • Subsidies
  • Industrialization
  • Capacity building
  • Technology transfer
  • Trade barriers
  • Economic disparity
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Multilateral agreements
  • Fair trade
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Dependency theory
  • Empowerment
  • Bilateral assistance
  • Technical expertise
  • Economic sanctions
  • Competitive advantage
  • Export-led growth
  • Protectionist policies
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!