Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays, the current situation
about
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of
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global warming has become a worldwide concern. Some people argue that to tackle
this
matter,
the
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apply
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individuals
should take more action compared to
a
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apply
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bigger
party
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parties
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such
as corporations and
government
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the government
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. I
stongly
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strongly
disagree with
this
statement and
this
essay will discuss
about
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apply
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the phenomenon more in detail. It is evident that each of us does
contributes
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contribute
show examples
to the climate change. In order to make a positive contribution to our environment, there are some things that should be focused on. The most important thing is
,
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apply
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the awareness about these environmental issues. These issues
needs
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need
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to be raised in order to help people in having a better understanding
about
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of
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the importance
in
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of
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changing their lifestyle and habit. Having
this
knowledge,
the
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apply
show examples
individuals
is
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are
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expected to commit
in
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to
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making better choices and
live
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living
show examples
a sustainable lifestyle.
However
,
they
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the
show examples
sole act of change from
a certain
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certain individuals
a certain individual
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individuals
is not enough to stop
this
global problem. The
goverment
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government
could make a greater impact by
doing
Verb problem
taking
show examples
action
in
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on
show examples
a larger scale.
Firstly
, creating strict
regulation
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regulations
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in waste management is what the country officials can propose to delay the rising temperature.
In addition
to that, they could
also
work hand in hand with big
corporation
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corporations
show examples
to develop solutions
as
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such as
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solar energy, subsidizing electric
car
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cars
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and
also
plant a tree movement.
To conclude
,
individuals
who
committing
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commit
show examples
in
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to
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sustainable
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a sustainable
show examples
lifestyle
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
contribute positively to the current climate issue.
However
,
this
stand alone
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stand-alone
show examples
will not
as
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be as
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efficient as having support from the government and corporates, as they could create
bigger
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a bigger
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impact. All parties need to work together to create an efficient solution
in saving
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to save
show examples
the world from climate change.
Submitted by a.wangsaatmaja on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas are developed sufficiently. Some paragraphs seem to lack depth and specific examples to support the claims.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs more complex sentence structures and a wider range of linking phrases to improve flow and coherence.
language
Proofread for grammatical accuracy and spelling errors to improve overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
task response
Strive to develop your arguments more fully by including specific examples and details. This will enhance the persuasive quality of your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
language
Use more precise vocabulary that more effectively conveys your argument. Avoid repetition and aim for variety in your word choices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • phenomenon
  • responsibility
  • address
  • crucial role
  • impact
  • collaboration
  • carbon footprint
  • regulations
  • policies
  • incentivize
  • act responsibly
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