In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
world, youths prefer to spend
time
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
their friends
circle
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rather than with their families. The main reason why
this
situation appeared could be the vast difference between generations. I don’t think that
children
should be forced by
parents
to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
more
time
with them at
home
because it would be not a quality pass-
time
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of pure
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
from the young
people
. The big gap between young and
olds
Correct your spelling
old
show examples
generations could be one of the reasons why they spent not enough
time
together.
Lack
Correct article usage
A lack
show examples
of common things between
people
obviously
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
a feeling of wrong
time
-spending.
An additional
Correct the article-noun agreement
Additional
show examples
, different views and opinions on the same things most likely provide than argument situations leaving participants without any
willings
Replace the word
will
show examples
to spend
time
with another side.
For instance
, in families experiencing issues with communication between
children
,
parents
and grandparents, there is
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
likelihood that they try to avoid having
time
tougher, as it often leads to negative consequences. Forcing younger
families
Change the noun form
family
show examples
members to spend more
time
at
home
cannot solve
this
problem of their absence, as they are under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure. Most of the
time
, forcing
people
to do things they actually don’t want to do does not solve a particular problem.
On the
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
show examples
it can worsen relationships between the parties involved.
Consequently
,
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
supposed
Add a missing verb
are supposed
show examples
to share
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
atmosphere to attract
children
to spend more
time
with them.
For example
,
parents
who regularly engage in enjoyable family activities,
such
as cooking together or movie evenings, create a positive and inviting atmosphere at
home
.
This
encourages
children
to willingly spend more
time
with their
parents
, as the
home
environment becomes associated with joy and bonding. In conclusion, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
a problem
last
decades that
children
Add a missing verb
are privilege
show examples
privilege
Replace the word
privileged
show examples
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
time
with friends rather than with their family. The obvious reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
disconnection is
wide
Add an article
a wide
the wide
show examples
disparity between generations. Encouraging young
people
to allocate more
time
for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
possible
Add a missing verb
is possible
show examples
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
motivation,
such
as ensuring a safe and
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
place, rather than resorting to force.
Submitted by bbelozertseva on

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structure
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should outline the main topic and preview the points you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarize the key points without introducing new arguments or ideas.
cohesion
Develop paragraphs that flow logically from one to the next. Use connectors and transition words to indicate the relationship between ideas, ensuring the text is easy to follow.
support
Each main point should be elaborated with relevant details or examples. Aim to provide specific instances or clear explanations to support your assertions, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
task response
Address both parts of the prompt thoroughly. Discuss the reasons for the change in young adults' behavior and clearly state your position on whether parents should intervene. Include direct responses to each part of the task to meet the requirements completely.
development
To improve your score, ensure that your ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive, covering all aspects of the prompt. Expand on your ideas and provide deeper insights or analyses where possible.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • establish
  • identity
  • influence
  • social media
  • digital communication
  • commitments
  • pressure
  • academic
  • profession
  • prioritize
  • cultural shifts
  • societal shifts
  • peer relationships
  • emotional support
  • guidance
  • voluntary
  • autonomy
  • balance
  • resilient
  • overbearing
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