IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

A company offers a temporary job with no salary, but it helps you to gain some work experience. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter, -introduce your previous work experience -tell the manager which department you want to work -describe what expectation you have from the job

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Dear Sir, I hope
this
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 email finds you in good health. I am writing
this
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 letter to express my interest in working in a temporary job without salary which is recently offered by your esteemed organization. First and foremost, I have been working in a local non-governmental organization as a volunteer since 2023
whereas
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 my prime responsibilities are teaching the underpriveleged children and day-to-day operational tasks.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that I will be able to perform myself in your firm if I am considered for the vaccant position. Since I have almost two years experience to working for the displaced and underpriveleged childrens, I would be glad if you allow me to work in the welfare department in your reputed company.
Besides
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, I always feel honoured to work with the children for their well-being.
Although
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this
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 position is offering temporary job without having any remuneration, I would expect that the company will consider me as a full-time permanent employee with a minimum salary in future. I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding
this
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 matter. Yours faithfully, Thomas Hook

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Task Achievement
Your letter successfully introduces your previous work experience, which helps meet the task response criteria. To improve, ensure you describe your experiences more vividly to showcase how they align with the temporary job's requirements.
Task Achievement
You effectively communicated which department you wish to work in, aligning with the task's demands. For further enhancement, consider elaborating on why your skills and experience make you a good fit for this particular department.
Task Achievement
While you have set some expectations from the job, to improve, you could specify more about what you aim to learn or achieve during your temporary tenure beyond potential permanent employment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter exhibits logical structure and progression of ideas, which aids in coherence and cohesion. To enhance, try deploying a wider range of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Great job with the greeting and closing; they are formal and appropriate for a letter to a company manager. Maintaining this professional tone throughout the letter helps with the overall cohesion and task suitability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphing effectively isolates distinct ideas, which assists readers in following your arguments. For improvement, ensure each paragraph is centered around a single main idea, providing clear topic sentences at the beginning.
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