The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.
The employee must have right
same
duration Correct article usage
the same
lengt
of Correct your spelling
length
vocation
each year not Use synonyms
depent
on their Correct your spelling
depend
dependent
job
. In my view I agree with Use synonyms
this
statement, Linking Words
becouse
each worker Correct your spelling
because
have
someCorrect subject-verb agreement
has
to have
off day in Verb problem
time
year
. When Add an article
the year
a year
employee
haveFix the agreement mistake
employees
Correct article usage
the
equal
in holiday and no envy from each Fix the infinitive
to equal
employees
.
regarding Change to a singular noun
employee
to
the statement, as industries that gave over Remove the preposition
apply
lengt
Correct your spelling
length
durasion
of Correct your spelling
duration
vocation
without thinking aboutUse synonyms
Add an article
the
job
position and duties there are good things, a company which is providing equal Use synonyms
privilages
in industries there Correct your spelling
privileges
are have
good Change the verb form
has
rul
management. When they take more time on Correct your spelling
rule
Use synonyms
vocation
it will make they can enjoy their days, refreshing themself by enjoying the moments without worries about Correct your spelling
vacation
Use synonyms
job
. Add an article
the job
a job
Moreover
, Linking Words
they
back to offices, they will work better than before with Rephrase
when they
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
sprit
and fresh Correct your spelling
spirit
mind
.
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
In
the Change preposition
On
onther
hand, the second problem is envy, if Correct your spelling
other
the
others have more longer ofCorrect article usage
apply
Fix the agreement mistake
vocations
vocation
Use synonyms
depent
on their jobs it could make Correct your spelling
depend
dependent
appear
jelous each Correct pronoun usage
each appear
employees
. For Change to a singular noun
employee
instan
, in Correct your spelling
instance
offices
they will Add a comma
offices,
woking
no productive and will make production or Change the verb form
wok
be woking
admistrasion
on Correct your spelling
administration
Correct article usage
the campany
campany
Correct your spelling
company
be
badly.
In Unnecessary verb
apply
conclution
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
gave
equal ofWrong verb form
giving
lengt
duration of Correct your spelling
length
vocation
is Use synonyms
importan
without thinking about their Correct your spelling
important
job
position. There are many Use synonyms
negatif
Correct your spelling
negative
development
in the industries and make Fix the agreement mistake
developments
jelous
of each Correct your spelling
jealous
employees
.Change to a singular noun
employee
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state your position, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion in a different way. In your essay, the introduction and conclusion were not clearly defined, which affected the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a logical sequence. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and subsequent sentences should expand on that idea with explanations or examples. Your essay had issues with logical flow and paragraphing, which made it difficult to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. Your essay lacked detailed examples and explanations that are relevant to the topic. This weakened your position and made your essay less compelling.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. Your essay partially responded to the prompt but did not fully develop an argument on why vacation duration should be the same for all jobs. Elaborate more on your points to strengthen your response.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas and try to express them in a more comprehensive manner. Many sentences in your essay were not clear, which made it difficult to understand your arguments. Consider revising your sentences for clarity and simplicity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.