The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#proportions #graduates #brighton #university #employment #sectors #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie chart above displays the number of graduates from a university in the UK going into different employment sectors in 2019.

Overall

, the vast majority of students had chosen to work in the service industry.

On the other hand

, the sports sector was the least chosen domain for work by the graduates. The service industries were the career of choice for more than a quarter of the student body, the figure being 33%.

After

this

, Manufacturing, Politics and Education were the fields in which most people were interested in working

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. The figures for these three services

being

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

16.3, 14.7 and 12.1 respectively. Transportation (7.8%) and Science (7.3%) both generated similar levels of workers. The lowest levels of employment

via

Change preposition

among

show examples

the students of Brighton University were documented in the Sports and Charity branches, where only 0.1% and 0.3% of the

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

year worked. The Civil Service realm saw 5.6%,

whereas

the Other section had a statistic of 2.8%.

Submitted by abeera2012 on Mon Dec 04 2023

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

159 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that success in sports depends on physical ability, while others believe that there are more important factors associated with success in sports. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion

Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some feel that students should not have to take standardized tests in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding about the history of the house or building the live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Give reasons for your answer using your own ideas and experience.