One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter •say how well you know your friend •describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has •explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

#friends #job #summer #school #camp #sports #trainer #manager #friend #•say #•describe #qualifications #•explain

Dear Mr. Mike, I hope

this

email finds you well. I am writing

this

letter to recommend

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

one of my

friend

Change to a plural noun

friends

show examples

as a sports trainer in

summer

Correct article usage

the summer

show examples

school camp that will be starting soon. First and foremost, I wanted to let you know some information about my

friend

. My

friend

Change noun form

friend's

show examples

name is Jony, and we have

Add a missing verb

had a

show examples

very good friendship since childhood. I have a good connection with his family members too.

Moreover

, my

friend

completed his

bachelor

Change noun form

bachelor's

show examples

program

Change preposition

show examples

sports

Correct article usage

a sports

show examples

trainer with good academic

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

. He is not only a

meriterious

Correct your spelling

meritorious

student but

also

a good communicator which always helps him to accomplish the task on time.

In addition

, he has been working in a multinational company as a sports trainer for seven months. It seems to me that my

friend

will be a good

choise

Correct your spelling

choice

for the position you are looking for. There are several reasons behind

this

opinion

such

as good communication and leadership skills, good academic

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

and previous work experiences etc. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon regarding

this

matter. Yours sincerely, Faisal

Submitted by faisalmahamood on Tue Dec 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your letter follows a clear and logical structure. Most information is organized, but there could be clearer transitions between your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are suitable, but using 'email' instead of 'letter' might not be consistent with the requested format. Maintain consistency throughout.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, and this has mostly been achieved. Ensure the topic sentence clearly states the paragraph's main idea.

task achievement

Your response completes the task, but be sure to develop each point fully. More detail could be provided about the friend's qualifications and experiences.

task achievement

The tone of the writing is suitable for the task, being appropriately formal for a recommendation letter. However, beware of minor slip-ups in tone consistency, especially in closings or casual expressions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

182 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communicaion with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?