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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in 6 areas of the world Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in 6 areas of the world Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #percentage #water #purposes #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 6 regions
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 recorded and put in a pie chart.The 6 regions are North
America
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,South
America
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,
Europe
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,
Africa
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,Central
Asia
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 and Southeast
Asia
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.There were 3 uses recorded,Industrial
use
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,Agricultural
use
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 and Domestic
use
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. The highest
percentage
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 of
water
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 used for Industrial uses is in
Europe
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 with 53% of its
water
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 used for industrial
purposes
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,followed by North
America
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 with 48% of its
water
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 used for industrial
purposes
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.South
America
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,
Africa
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,Central
Asia
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 and Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 less than 13% of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial
use
Use synonyms
,with the least being Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 with 5% of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 used
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 industrial
purposes
Use synonyms
. The highest
percentage
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 of
water
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 used for agricultural
purposes
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 is in Central
Asia
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 with 88% of its
water
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 used for agricultural
purposes
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,followed by
Africa
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 and Southeast
Asia
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 with 84% and 81% respectively.
Europe
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 uses the least
percentage
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 of
water
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 for agricultural
use
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 with only 32%. The highest
percentage
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 of
water
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 used for domestic
use
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 is in South
America
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 with 19% of the
water
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 being used for
domaestic
Correct your spelling
domestic
purposes
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,followed by
Europe
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 and North
America
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 with 15% and 13% respectively.The other remaining regions of
Africa
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,Central
Asia
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 and Southeast
Asia
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 have relatively equal percentages of
water
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 used for domestic
purposes
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 with 9%,7% and 7% respectively. In conclusion,
Europe
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 and North
America
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uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 most of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial and domestic uses and
Asia
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,South
America
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 and
Africa
Use synonyms
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 most of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural uses.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, water, use, america, europe, africa, asia, purposes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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