many high level of positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than fifty percent female. compnies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#level #positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #fifty #percent #compnies #percentage #women

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many

people

in our days celebrate St. Valentine’s Day. The aim of my project is

find

Change the verb form

to find

finding

show examples

out which is the most popular Valentine’s

day

Capitalize word

Day

show examples

gift

for your partner among young adults in Zetland. I have made some analyzing table about the most popular gifts.

According to

information

Add an article

the information

show examples

I have found, the most popular

gift

is exactly bouquet of flowers, more than 35

percent

people

choose it. But, another very popular variant of

gift

that

have

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

chosen by 27

percent

people

– soft toys. One more quite popular

gift

is perfume, 18

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of young adults have chosen it

Change preposition

show examples

gift

. Not very popular gifts are tickets to the cinema and jewellery, they have

chosen

Add a missing verb

been chosen

show examples

by 13 and 4

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of respondents. In my opinion, it is caused by

high

Add an article

the high

show examples

price of the

last

two types of gifts for

this

celebration. The problem that can arise with choosing a

gift

is that

people

can forget about Valentine’s

day

Capitalize word

Day

show examples

, so just don’t buy a present for their partners. The one conclusion I see is just

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

show examples

up a note with all important dates for you and your family. N my opinion, the best present for your partner is something that would really help him or her, or something that can improve your

partner

Change noun form

partner's

show examples

skills in school, university or at

wok

Correct your spelling

work

show examples

For example

, some Student’s book or laptop.

Submitted by dulskywork on Sun Jan 14 2024

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task response

Your essay does not directly address the topic question, which is about gender equality in high-level company positions, not about Valentine's Day gifts. Always ensure that your essay directly responds to the given question to achieve a higher score in task response.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction that presents the topic and your position on it, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. Including these elements will make your essay more coherent and improve your score.

coherence cohesion

The essay's examples and explanations appear disconnected from the main topic. To improve coherence, each paragraph should contain one main idea that is developed and supported by examples or explanations relevant to the main topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Gender parity
Inclusive workforce
Corporate governance
Glass ceiling
Equal opportunity
Progressive policies
Workforce diversity
Merit-based promotion
Affirmative action
Empowerment

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