Some employers of their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staf healthier and thus more ef ective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion.
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In numerous companies, there are facilities
such
as free membership in a particular sport
. While
the employers will take advantage on
reaching their fulfilled working target, they only waste the capital by Change preposition
of
number
of workforces.
On the one hand, Change the article
a number
the number
sport
will waste money as, nowadays, being sporty is a disciplined decision, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
not
everyone Correct word choice
and not
having
Wrong verb form
has
ability
to do it. When firms dedicate their contribution Change the article
the ability
helping
their staff to be fit, they have to facilitate it to all of their staff. Olin, Change preposition
to helping
for example
, an owner of Rumah Indah Agency, acknowledges that her regulation of giving involvement of her workforce running club card had overwhelm
her finance team. Change the verb form
overwhelmed
This
is because they have to stabilize their fund stream by cutting money of
the other program. Change preposition
off
Thus
, it needs higher
financial supply so that no one, signed in to the organization, skipped receiving support to be a Correct article usage
a higher
sport
member.
Change the noun form
sports
Nevertheless
, facilitating
all the Change preposition
by facilitating
staffs
to join Fix the agreement mistake
staff
sport
activities, numerous organizations' purpose Change the noun form
sports
incline
to be succeeded. Wrong verb form
inclined
This
is due to
the fact successful organizations come from productive human resource
, relating to their physical attributes. These are supported by Fix the agreement mistake
resources
Correct article usage
the exercise
exercise
they do. The higher frequency it is done, the healthier they are, Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
which
the workers will stay more energetic Correct word choice
and
while
doing their tasks. Therefore
, those would be finalized well by powerful personnel.
In conclusion, giving a chance to get membership
program is effective to the company itself as the project would be ensured finished. Correct article usage
a membership
As well as
, this
will rise
Correct your spelling
raise
cost
needed which fewer people would persevere in training.Correct article usage
the cost
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clarity and organization by presenting ideas in a logical sequence and using clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction, clearly state the topic and your position, and provide a brief outline of the key points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly, and to help the essay flow more naturally.
Task Achievement
Be sure to fully answer the question, providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your conclusion.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with clear, comprehensive ideas and support them with relevant, specific examples or evidence.
Task Achievement
Revise your essay and check for any grammatical, spelling or punctuation mistakes.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example