You have been offered a job, asking you to start next week. You want the job very much but, because of a previous commitment, you want to delay the start for another two weeks. Write to the Manager, accepting the job, but explaining your situation and asking for the change to your start date.

#job #week #commitment #delay #start #two #weeks #manager #situation #change #date

Dear Manager, I am writing to you in response to the acceptance letter which

Change the capitalization

show examples

have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

received for the opportunity. I appreciate

to take

Change the verb form

taking

show examples

this

job.

However

, I have to finish my one month in my

last

company.

Therefore

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ask for permission to delay my

join to

Wrong verb form

joining

show examples

the company. As a leader in my

last

office

Add a comma

office,

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I want to declare my

jobdesk

Correct your spelling

job desk

to new employees who

Change the verb form

are

show examples

replacing me in

this

job. And

also

gives some advice to my

ex team

Add a hyphen

ex-team

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. My

last

date in my office at 17 January 2024 which falls on

Correct article usage

the next

show examples

weeks

Fix the agreement mistake

week

show examples

. I will soon as

posible

Correct your spelling

possible

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

join your group on

monday

Change the capitalization

Monday

show examples

20 January 2024. Could it be possible to realize,

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you have no wish to

dissapoint

Correct your spelling

disappoint

you and your staff. I hope you will consider my request, I look forward to hearing from you Yours Faithfully Abdul Hafiz Hidayat

Submitted by fiez97 on Wed Jan 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that the letter has a clear structure with an introduction, development, and conclusion. Each paragraph should introduce a new idea or part of the argument in a clear and logical manner.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use proper salutations and sign-offs for formal letters. A more formal and precise greeting and closing would enhance the overall impression of your letter.

Task Achievement

Make certain that you address all parts of the task. In this case, a further explanation of the previous commitment would have been pertinent, and a stronger argument for the necessity of the start date delay.

Task Achievement

It is crucial to maintain a formal tone throughout the letter. Avoid using overly casual language and ensure appropriate use of formal expressions and vocabulary.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

148 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have been offered a job, asking you to start next week. You want the job very much but, because of a previous commitment, you want to delay the start for another two weeks. Write to the Manager, accepting the job, but explaining your situation and asking for the change to your start date.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that schools should teach foreign languages for primary school children. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Many people believe that teenagers spend too much time on social media. Write an essay in which you give your own opinion about this issue and propose solutions to it.

All parents want best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future.