Some people think that in school discipline should br the job of the teacher where as some believe it is the parents responsibility. discuss both side and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, some groups of people think
discipline
at
school
is only the
responsibility
of the
teachers
,
while
others say the main
responsibility
is of
parents
.
This
essay will discuss those arguments and it agrees with the idea that
parents
have a big
responsibility
in the education of
children
. On one
hand
,
teachers
have the main
responsibility
of helping students at
school
with subjects and doubts that they have about specific topics in a class. Throughout those classes,
teacher
make their own
rules
as part of the
discipline
, which will help them with the dynamic of the different activities, In those moments, the
teacher
will give some scores,
according to
the goal of the course, and will be evaluated if the students got achieved the expected result for each period. After the class, the
teachers
do not have total control of the
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
of the alumnus, since they have to follow the general
rules
and duties of the
school
, and if they do not respect those, probably they will have some consequences
according to
the
school
manual.
For example
, Catholic schools have the rule of going to Mass every
last
Friday of each month, which
formal
Add a missing verb
is formal
show examples
uniform. I believe as members of the
school
community,
teachers
and students will have to respect,
otherwise
will have to look for other places with different strategies, since
parents
must share those commitments with their
children
On the other
hand
,
parents
have the main control of the
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
of their
children
, since they have some specific parenting practices that will be shown at
school
and other spaces, and
due to
this
style
children
build their attitude and part of their personality and sometimes
school
teacher
supports
this
process in their classes, but
teachers
do not have the time to deal with the whole
discipline
of
school
without
parents
aims, seeing as
parents
spend time with them and help with emotional issues that
children
face daily.
For example
, teenagers start a period of discovering who are they and what they want in their lives, in
this
stage is when
parents
need to be there, supporting them, and sometimes
teachers
identify some unusual patterns that later are communicated with their families. That's why I believe
teachers
are not the main
Correct pronoun usage
ones responsibility
show examples
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
for the
discipline
of
school
, they need
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
support with compliance
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
the general
rules
. In conclusion,
parents
and
teachers
need to work
hand
in
hand
to support the
discipline
of the
school
, because
teachers
can not manage all the responsibilities, especially parenting practice since those practices are evident in
school
spaces. I believe the main
discipline
has to start from home, and at
school
is support with the general
rules
and
teacher
's
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and distinct point, avoiding overlapping ideas between sections.
coherence cohesion
To earn a higher score in introduction and conclusion, make sure both are clearly distinguishable with a strong thesis statement in the introduction and a summary of the main points and a restatement of the thesis in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points more conclusively by providing clear arguments, explanations, or examples that directly relate to the central idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Achieve a more complete response by addressing the task more directly and fully engaging with the prompt, including direct comparisons between the two views and a more explicit expression of your opinion.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively, ensuring each paragraph expands on its main idea effectively. Avoid casual language to maintain an academic tone.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, grounding your discussion in concrete details.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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