Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

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Several
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
show examples
that some professions as nurses,
doctors
and
teachers
are
underrate
Wrong verb form
underrated
show examples
and should be paid a lot
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,particularly when second person like movie
actors
or holding bosses are paid enormous sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
proportion
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the proportion
show examples
of
slary
Correct your spelling
salary
some workers.Professions that give large benefits as nurses,
teachers
and
doctors
are
comparison
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compared
show examples
with film
actors
,
bosses
Correct word choice
and bosses
show examples
badly paid.
We
Add a verb
We are
We were
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aware
what
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of what
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to do
doctors
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with doctors
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to help and take care of
health
Correct pronoun usage
our health
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us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
teachers
give all of their knowledge to learning children.
Subsequently
,they have
to
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apply
show examples
more experience in order to get
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
slary
Correct your spelling
salary
for their
hard-working
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hard work
show examples
.
Whereas
,film
actors
and leaders of
company
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the company
a company
show examples
get largely money.
Although
,they just cry,show their emotion to the screen or
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
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important questions.
Firstly
,it is well known that dependent on government or
independent
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independence
show examples
.Unfortunately,the authority workers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
do a lot of benefits
dependent
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are dependent
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on
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.Obviously,only authority can increase and decrease sums of
slary
Correct your spelling
salary
.
By contrast
art
peoples
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people
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as
actors
,singers and business persons independently.
On the other hand
,it can
also
be argues
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be argued
show examples
that the comparison in their
restrict
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restriction
show examples
of mind.
That is
to
say
Add a comma
say,
show examples
independent and business humans always do crazy things what they want to do.They do not have
restrict
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restrictions
show examples
like ,,I can not make a lot of money" or "What
other
Add a missing verb
do other
show examples
people say about my
action
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actions
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?" In conclusion,we can say that
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
Change preposition
of benefit
show examples
benefit
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benefits
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workers like
teachers
,
doctors
,
officers
Correct word choice
and officers
show examples
are worthy to get more
slary
Correct your spelling
salary
from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.We should respect their sophisticated work.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas should be organised logically with clear topic sentences. Make sure to use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
You should directly address the topic and make sure your position is clear throughout the essay. Include an introduction that paraphrases the prompt and sets out your view, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly convey your ideas. Ensure your essay is grammatically accurate and punctuation is used correctly. Avoid using contractions in formal writing.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be relevant, persuasive, and directly related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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